christmas day at orchard was an implusive affair, thrilling, with lots of photoshots ( of me of course, cant you see this model hogging the camera =p )

and of course, memorable for personal reasons.

--------

on another note, maybe its time for us girls to have a gathering together for the new year! anyone up for any new year celebrations? (:

started fieldwork. it was so bad i think the whole sembawang knows me now--for the wrong reasons-- =x

well anyway, at least i managed to complete whatever i was supposed to do ( almost ). surveying is so difficult i know that im right to always help out others to do surveys when i meet them.

----------

concert at esplanade! one of those public performance to spread the xmas cheer to the public. was quite fun altho very tiring. and so glad that intensive carolling pracs came to an end ( altho there are still concert pracs ) thanks to those who came to support me (:

-----------

its been 2 christmases ago. amazing how some things change yet others remains the same. may there be many more christmases to come.

merry christmas (:

---------

off for my final surveying. time to wait at bus stops to "target" unsuspecting victims hehe.

really happy to meet up with qt afew people these few days (:

jiaqi for badminton- which i got so sore and was aching all over now but was very very good fun.
dinner/shopping with siu cy shan qing ( which i was terribly late cos of badminton ) but was really good to chat with them.
grace! - she's back frm cambridge - of course, some purpose shopping, waffles, and basically catching up (:

lq - for his bdae present - which is a really classic one i can say. plus eating something really interesting such as --- SNAILS. they actually tasted qt nice lol.

grr spending qt abit of money ( cos of all the presents and yummy food! ) but its great to finally enjoy my holidays ( try not to think of term start )

---------

anyway, here's a little change from the usual band concert adverts.

if you are free on saturday evening ( 22 dec ) why not drop by the esplanade? apart frm admiring the artwork displays, there's SMU chamber choir bringing the xmas cheer to the public through happy and merry carolling pieces. its free ( easygoing on the wallet ). needless to say--i will be performing--

(:

results are fine. not good, not bad, just fine.

somehow, i have no feelings for what im studying in uni. which isnt good.

---------------

ive just saw sth very very interesting today morning:

on the front of my dad's car, ( the bonnet ) there lay 2 houseflies together. ( use ur imagination to figure out what they were doing--hints will be dropped along the way ). so anw, they were in this really funny position. in other words, they were really really close together.

and on the back of my dad's car ( the boot ) there was this lone housefly.

finally, the time has come for my dad to start the car and drive me out. so the car was increasing its speed, 20 km/h....30km/h.....60 km/h......

finally, my dad make a really spot-on remark " im surprised that with the car going at this speed, the wind did not blow the 2 houseflies away. they are still staying at the exact same spot together on my car "

( if you havent figured out what i was trying to tell you, the 2 houseflies were mating, and that lone housefly is probably a potential suitor that had lost the competition for its mating partner )


arhh..the power of love, exemplified by houseflies.

--------------

on a separate note, this is the first time ive seen houseflies mating.

ps: maybe shld hav prevented them frm mating ( or kill them with a slap ) so that we can reduce the number of houseflies. however, i was too facinated to do that haha.

rainy weather. perfect for making up for lost sleep over the past 15 weeks (:

have been actively doing all kinds of stuff. mon was enchanted with cy ( very very randomly "dragged" ) which i had to brave the thunderstorm to get to yishun ( sounds so melodramatic ). the movie was nice ( not something i will spontaneously watch tho ) in a interesting ( and quite dumb/lame/unbelieveable at certain parts ) sort of way.

tues was out with winnie and cy again to celebrate winnie's bdae ( which we know the date better than her lol ). had nice and cheaper food and then off to watch some movie ( which is like erm more like motion picture? ) some french movie that had its eng subtitles "disappear" but i can still understand haha. super dumb also.

yawn. out of various factors im not going for kbox tdy. time to spend more time on my piano books hehs.

nxt up: more meetups, badminton, bdae celebration, xmas, new year

------------

i am so dreading start of school ( otherwise known as end of life in a sense )

was so long since i did random stuff!

sat after choir went with afew choir ppl to taka for lunch. haha so random. reminds me of how i usually do not have time to even have a nice lunch, let alone travel to somewhere to have lunch, near that place was to sch ( taka's only afew bus stops away ). went to the basement. which reminds me of how many diff types of food tht i havent tried as of yet.

then sun after tuition dragged ppl out for shopping! heehee. tried the pasta at waraku. and it was rather unique. yay. and i bought sth tht i need and like and want. (:

i like liberation.

at carolling yesterday i was reminded again of how much disparity there is in our country.

we were hired by an organiser of the party to carol during his xmas party held at his house. and boy was is a house that is one of a kind!

afew things that taken me by surprise:

1. there is valet parking at his house ( like omg i know private houses can be big but surely not that big? )

2. the entertainment area ( not bedroom or anything ) is equivalent to the area of an average flat ( or maybe slightly smaller )

3. the decorations were good, tasteful, and expensive. like that huge chandelier hanging from the celing at the living room

4. the carpets!!!! pretty. hehs. and they wear shoes inside ( i had the urge to remove my shoes ).

5. xmas tree! really really pretty.

6. they actually love our singing! hahaha. i guess we're not that bad after all ( altho we have much to improve on )

7. we were offered FOOD! yummy sushi. 2 big plates. really really nice sushi. ( maybe they love our singing so much hahahah)

well but i guess, looking at such disparity, its no wonder why the average man walking down the street is grumbling about widening income gap. those plates of sushi they offered us prob costs more than an average meal ( and that isnt even the main course i think ).

--------------

end of finals!

end of 1 term of suffering, perpectual deadlines running through my head every single waking moment reminding me of the million things to do. wow the feeling, after my last paper, was SHIOK. free. relaxed.

although as usual, im far frm being free! ive found a job as my prof's research assistant hehs. and choir will be packed with last min choinging of learning carols =x plus alot of housekeeping to do.

yes. time to get my life and my health back this term has been wayy too much adjustment to handle.

its 2 days to finals.

as usual, not surprisingly, i am sick. again. for the 4th or 5th time this term. and my body seems to be immune to the usual medicine so i gotta get those extra strong ones that knock you out cold the moment you eat it, since non-drowsy formulas are so not effective.

anw, i have been very productive ( the good result of totally shutting out every single smu influence ) finally back to something resembling myself.

------------

thanks to my TA these are interesting pics tht help illustrate one of the course concepts for bgs.

iron law of responsibility: in the long run, people who do not use their power in a way society considers responsible will tend to lose it.

human mouse?

oohhh. better beware of birdshit ( i know chong pang area is a birdshit hotspot =p )

new meaning to "zebra crossing"

hahaha. this one is interesting. piggy bank.

-----------------------

ok enough destressing. ive slept for nearly the whole day and its time to get back on full steam ahead (:

7 more days to liberation.

i declare myself uncontactable until dec--except through my hp and sch email.

after that report ( which somehow still wasnt completed ) im up on arms and advocating whistle blowing, esp after my entire day of revision was spent editting the powderful england and paraphrasing to avoid plagarism. well, minus choir and promises of more intensive practices.

------------

i really really need to study. in case you guys dont know, the once finish-all-work-in-time and read-bio-dunno-how-many-times-alr girl is behind on her work. shocking right. even i find that terribly hard to believe.

-------------

looks like uni life isnt a piece of cake. far from it.

in class now, listening to the revision presentations, i felt a sense of relief ( altho finals are coming ).

just had a rushed ( but appealing to prof ) presentation on econs. im in need of sleep.

its final, i got my bidded module ( i wonder if i will die more horribly next term with another full workload ) .

---------------

making plans for hols! prob wun be taking full time jobs unless the pay's qt good. in any case, its time for reviving my life.

anyone up for shopping/part time jobs, movies, etc? ( esp ppl who are pulling a disappearing act more successfully than me, which is darn hard bcos im doing a great job of it by staying in sch for long hrs ) better make urself available! (:

last report, finals and i will be free! (:

i had a ride of a lifetime---on a motorbike.

whee. the feel of the wind sweeping me hair, the whizzing past traffic, the centripetal force during bends.

was really cool.

(:

------------

i kinda wish i got personal transport so tht i can go home to sleep in between lessons and meetings in sch. really sleepy nowadays. and public transport is such a waste of time if i travel home to slp and eat then come to sch again =x

but im really really sleepy. overslept my alarm for 1.5 hr =x ( thankfully i learnt the trick of setting my alarm clock 1 hr early with snooze :p )

presentation went well thus far---

3 more weeks to go until i get to dump my notes and get proper human rights such as proper meals and adequate sleep and a life besides projects.

education isnt solely about purely equiping you with all the knowledge you need to survive in the workplace.

ever wondered why on earth do our grades determine our future, as our parent tell us: to study hard, get good grades and people will employ you and pay you a good salary

lets put things in this way. we learn history, geography, calculus, in order to become a mechanic? ok maybe calculus is qt relevant here, but not exactly history and geog right?

and besides, just how much of whatever you learn will you be actually applying to your future job? not much, and i can testify to that bcos i worked b4 temporarily doing something actually significantly important ( not just making coffee and shredding paper )

basically, your grades are a reflection of your ability to learn, to be taught new things, and to apply it to produce something that is expected of you.

after all, a degree isnt going to make us geniuses the moment we step into the office. ultimately that guy who is there before you will have experience and thus better than you in that aspect. going into primary, secondary, and then tertiary education reflects one's ability to learn under increasingly independent circumstances, hence implying a likelihood that the person has an ability to learn on the job--and most importantly, being able to answer exam questions correctly shows our ability to produce what our bosses want next time ( since we are able to deliver a fixed and expected set of "answers".

so perhaps, it may be justified to forget whatever you spent weeks and months prior to the exam memorising haha ( my tuition kids will be overjoyed to hear that :p )

i almost forgot everything if not for tuition.

besides, my modules now, everything except biz law is kinda crap anw.

------------------

just a thought! hehs. AS does make you analyse and make constructive arguments. and prof mark makes lessons qt interesting.

i seriously HATE ppl sending vulgarities in emails.

no matter what the issue is, there is no need to degrade yourself.

if luck is on my side, there will be no more projs with such ppl.

----------------

arh.

how wasted. a young and bright talent.

and such a nice guy.

but this shows tht life can be heartless sometimes. one mistake and ure out.

tough life.

--------------------

meanwhile, more tough times ahead for my term 1.

CT was fine, juz tht now im deprived of my tues slping time.

arh im beginning to hate sch with all its deadlines. =x

mid term break made me realise how much i miss having regular meals at proper un-rushed circumstances, and adequate ( not excessive or alot more, but adequate ) sleep time.

i thought these were human basics. or at least they were mine until the past 7 wks at smu ( which never sleeps, eats takeaway subway as staples and miraculously stay healthy, or maybe not )

had a 3 hr phone chat with winnie! made me realise how much i miss everyone. and how lonely fighting for survival at a business sch can be.

MID TERM BREAK

ive been looking forward to this ever since sch started. so i gotta do my projs and stuff, but i guess, its still a break with no morning classes (:

and this tuition kid family i have. the mother was saying to the daughter: no i cant alter ur sch uniform skirt for you because if it is too short, then when you bend down to take stuff, may accidentally "expose" urself.

guess what. the mother was wearing a skirt which had so little cloth, i wonder why did she actually bother wearing something. furthermore, its so tight that i can see her big butt.

seriously.

i havent gotten over just how weird it is to teach that girl.

-------------------

edit//

i think midterm break is busier than normal days.
the only difference is that i sleep more than during sch days.
the illusion of free time only lasts for a short while.

week 7.

ive never felt more alone than ever.

---------------

got abit of insight as to why tuition is so immensely horrible at times but cool at other times. all the bit of talk about teaching privately really kinda make more sense now tht im experiencing a whole catastrophe of experiences in a wonderously span of afew weeks. maybe, it just seemed alot harder now.

maybe, someone didnt and wasnt there.
and someone was

maybe the roles got switched
maybe the ones that should be around arent

maybe its just week 7.

maybe some people just think that they are right
maybe some people just thrive in the misery of others.

maybe someone was too busy
maybe i was too busy for everyone

maybe, i could be in hiding. just for a day.

week 6 started with a BANG.

nice time in sch frm 830am-12am. COOL isnt it =x ( and no it wasnt a fun and enjoyable slumber party if anyone of u was wondering. there were serious agenda and deadlines to be strictly met )

nice training for the corporate world nxt time eh.

but no its rather scary when ure super exhausted and there's no train home and there are like no cabs in town ( bcos all left when they picked up passengers frm town to heartlands ) and however heartless it seems, i must wake my dear and trusty parents frm their deep sleep to rescue the cinderella without a pumpkin.

yea that's another good reason why i should get my driving license.

and i wonder if med was as stressful. certainly i bet they dun hav to stay in sch for such long and unearthly hrs im sure. at least if they mug they do it at the comfort of their homes/hostel rooms.

week 5. of pack, busy weeks, deadlines, mid term tests, and what nots.

HELP

and my comp happen to decide to misbehave! eek. cant connect to sch network hence no internet in sch! freak. and a visit to CIT helped momentarily but now, its acting up again.

and my assignments are due and presentation is nxt wk.

HELP

------------

maybe its a good thing that its almost halfway thru term 1.

wk 4 of term 1. time's flying.

dunno whether its good or bad, but anw, just have to bear with it for alittle while longer and holiday will be here soon (:

hav to say that choir is fun! altho i kinda miss my bassoon. but its still fun.

one day while at celine's tuition class i was fiddling with that piano over there. and realising tht i actually can teach celine her pieces was qt a cool revelation, esp when she's like going " wow how come you can play it at one go when u havent practiced it " hahaha. not too bad for someone who havent touched piano for close to 6 mths now.

a significant sat! - one without tuition (:

completed some of my work in the morning (: which was much needed ( esp when i hav alot of work waiting for me still =x )

went for voix outing cum bonding session! i do love a capella singing hehs. qt fun.
then went off the chinese garden with ts to play with lanterns and those noisy sparklers heehee. fun (:

arh i do kinda wish i didnt hav to teach tuition sometimes. i like the kids. but free time is rare =x

wished i was back in jc where i can juz take pocket money frm parents. working for it seems so much tougher.

3rd wk of sch

no ure not kidding uni life does fly by! tired tho we were, its bye bye wk 3 hello wk 4!

i dont know why but i dont seem to like my modules. im doing fine and all, but just felt rather out-of-sorts. i dont stay longer in sch than i absolutely need to.

life's been slightly better tho. chatting up random ppl is becoming a habit now, such tht more and more of those random ppl become regular lunch/stay ard till nxt lesson starts/lets go here and there since we're going the same way people.

and finally, im joining an a capella singing grp! i know im by default in band but. maybe its time to try something different. besides, i did pass the audition.

2nd wk of sch.

all the frenzy about project meetings and cca auditions.

time's been flying past. frequent late nights, deadlines, what have not.

highlight: AS proj at craving thoughts cafe. objective: to play a game, and then figure out the rule book and strategy book. the game is rather confusing and took us a damn long time to figure it out. but overall, it was fun! possibly the most interesting proj meeting ever (:

and AS lessons of game-playing does make a dreary week perk up just the slightest bit.

bgs is getting more and more vague, biz law more and more bio-ish except tht content is much more unsightly.

and i am still behind in my readings.

nice deception: a short class timetable with all the "unseen" stuff eating up the rest of my time.
maybe i'll rather have lecs and tutorials.

supposedly its still the beginning.

im so tired after 1st wk of sch =x

anyway, i got tonnes of deadlines and hw piling up, my cip report, readings, etc etc.
highlight of the week is AS seminar where i answered a qn correctly! hahah so cool. & ts was even faster than me, guessed it almost immediately.

[great minds think alike]

(:

fri was cca day where i was signing up for ccas with much fervour. realised tht joining ccas need money! grrr. so ex. so budget me decided to go for non-payment stuff ( since im after all, spending my own money ) so stuff like smux and investment club is a no-no. hehs.

signed up for music interactive club ( more ktv sessions ), choir & voix auditions, red cross ( cos its free ) rotaract ( tentative ). plus samba masala auditions, and maybe band ( kena pulled by seniors ), and asoc committee, and i hav a very lopsided cca inbalance ( note: absence of sports )

sat was photo editting workshop ( where i was right in front and the one asking a whole lot of qns ).

--------------

perhaps the only thing good out of tertiary consession passes is that it allows me to experiment with different travel routes ( esp bus routes ) without additional costs so that i can explore more areas of singapore that i normally avoid when i take mrt.

took 167 all the way to smu! was a really long journey but i really enjoyed the sights and sitting in the bus travelling along the roads of orchard. then took all kinds of feeder buses looping ard woodlands, which made me realise that there's 888 plaza, vista point, apart frm causeway point at woodlands! hehs.

exploring is good. provided it dosent cost more. (:

-------------

after a bang of pretty fireworks on sat night after convoc, sch started.

pretty un-used to the seminar system, and all the rush to find ppl to buy 2nd textbooks frm. readings, research, and more advanced readings.

end of honeymoon. sigh

gotta learn how to manage my schedule better. grr.

-------

mon was abit shocking. maybe its juz the fact tht im having lessons in a very different format and im still not warmed up to the idea of actually coming very prepared for classes ( unlike the crashing tutorial qns last min ) and all the "not very clearly defined syllabus" ( or is there even one in the 1st place ) which is very unsettling, coming frm a sci student who have all the right and wrong ans nicely put out.

all the no-right-and-wrong, grey areas, and debates/discussion during classes reminds me of gp lessons which i used to not-look-forward-to bcos i think its a waste of my time.

now im gonna be stuck with bgs for 15 wks.

other than that things have been fine, and getting used to the "walking alone" and the "chatting up strangers" syndrome so things shld be getting better soon.

hopefully.

---------------------

dominoes of dreams started well with faci-ing the workshop.

but sales is getting totally sian.

day 1 is still ok. got qt afew sales.
day 2 is like no crowd at all.
day 3? hope it isnt that bad.

sigh. all for cip hrs.

sometimes i think making cip hrs and evaluation writing complusory kills the true meaning of cip. i mean, if its not compulsory, i think i will do REAL cip instead of all the umbrella opening and closing.

i know i will do real cip. after i finish my mandatory stuff that is. i have 71.5 hrs. 9 more to go.

---------

recommended readings coming up! sch's starting nxt wk!

did i mention i have a 3-day wk? woot.

(:

all, it seems, is well. the hustle and bustle of life, of endless things to do sometimes keeps you preoccupied. its only when a break comes that exhaustion envelops. well, maybe not exhaustion. just

an amazement at how different it can be, after all the cheeriness has gone away, after all the suppressed emotions moved out of their dormant phase.

maybe, its when you realise one day, that things are never the same again.

---------

ndp at padang! watched the fireworks, saw the planes, etc. fireworks are the best part. the worst--the crowds.

faci-ing north vista on sat was cool too. i like my grp! (:

then sun was qing & shan's bdae celebration at fish & co and siu's hse. qt nice to meet up with them again, altho meetup was too short in my opinion. i do love fish & co.

---------

next up--cip sales for dominoes of dreams! i have 20 more cip hrs to clear b4 sch starts!

---------

really love the idea of a holiday. the idea of a getaway, to relax, to enjoy. where everything else and normal hectic schedules take a backseat. where only you and your travel partners exist.

ive nv travelled much. only with my family once on a plane, and afew times by car/bus to malaysia.

maybe that's why i was so pleasantly surprised when u mentioned a holiday. (:

-----------

milestone 1 -- got myself a new silver visa

milestone 2 -- beating red lights twice with my instructor staring at me in horror of my serious misjudgement. i slowed down upon approaching the traffic lights, then seeing tht it still remained green, sped up. THEN IT TURN RED. =x

milestone 3 -- i went to try thai kickboxing at true yoga ( i saw myself at the mirrors in the studio all ard me and i think i look stupid )

milestone 4 -- managed to pull off a less-than-satisfactory haircut

milestone 5 -- managed to continue my normal schedule and not fall totally sick despite of the weather

----------

so many thoughts swimming in my head. tired but just had that nagging feeling tht i lost control.

sighs. was supposed to be encouraging my tuition kid in her ambition. then all she reminded me was mine.

so like me, afew yrs ago. so hopeful.

haii. then she asked me and i juz dropped some not-so-happy truths that made life seem more unpredictable.

anw, i ended up making her feel so discouraged. ARGH i was supposed to encourage her to study so she can be a lawyer.

---------

samba masala was fun! i really do love performing arts. will prob audition for it.

still, it amplifies the fact tht i felt lost, that i know hardly anyone, that its prob gonna be like that for afew mths at least, bcos my friends are off at prestigious courses/overseas/just not here with me la.

i do like the freedom, but not when others make it seem like such a crime.

----------

priorities.

its strange why many things can simultaneously happen on the same time, same day, and force us to choose which one to go for. i can be so free one day then suddenly, 3 or 4 things all on the same day. and same time slot, no less.

its really tiring to make choices, even regarding simple things such as which place to go, who to meet, who to turn down, which tuition kid to schedule, which to postpone, what days to organise gatherings, etc.

take for example. i have tuition with brandon and chiewpang, samba masala tryouts and bondue gathering all at the same time. tuition seems the natural choice until i tell u they have a tendency to cancel. then its down to cca or grp mates. i really do miss performing arts, but yh is guilt-tripping me by telling me he's skipping tryouts. so its like really tiring to keep track of my erratic schedule, and all the IFs. like if tuition isnt cancelled, then i go. if it is, i go for this. or i go for this then rush for that.

RAHHH

multitasking seems normal.

-------------

anw, im selling stuff away at ebay! do support (:

http://cgi.ebay.com.sg/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120147438374&ssPageName=ADME:L:LCA:SG:31


http://cgi.ebay.com.sg/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120147442190&ssPageName=ADME:L:LCA:SG:31

-----------

back frm asoc camp 26-28 jul 07!

camp was qt fun. i hav to say much more fun than ftb last wk. (:

day 1 was station games and all the ice breakers. qt fun and not that dirty.

day 2 was a day out at palawan beach sentosa! altho it rained, but we played beach games in the light drizzle. very dirty, cold, tiring, but fun!

day 2 night was an impromptu clubbing session in out sleeping headquarters but somehow i was so zonked out that i managed to sleep right through all the music, noise, etc. hehs.

and so that's the end of all my camps! qt relieved actually. ive been really tired out.

-------------

i was nearly trapped at causeway point at 11plus pm =x

i went in bcos i needed to go to the toilet, so i decided to walk into cwp.

the security guard said tht i cant access the 1st floor toilet but i can go to the one at basement 1 bcos macs is at b1 so the toilet is open to public. so i took the escalator down to b1, walked to the far end to go to the toilet.

after i came out of the toilet and reached the escalator, i was shocked to find the level 1 entrance/exit of the excalator cordoned off! =x so i was trapped at b1. luckily there was a macs staff who directed me to the lift which is at a corner of the building. and that exit isnt cordoned off YET. grrr.

lesson learnt: never go to toilet so late at night.

back frm freshmen team building camp run 2!

camped at obs east coast. was qt a tiring 3D2N. shant say much abt the activities, just that they are really challenging and tiring. altho fun, the debrief killed much of the joy and fun in camp. sighs.

after all, this is a TEAM-BUILDING camp, not an orientation camp, as emphasized many many times.

was qt dirty also, since we had to slp in tents and it rained. yucks. and the toilet choked up so easily ( esp the girls toilets ) that one day i juz cant stand it and went into the guys toilet to bathe =x of course the toilet was empty ( dur =p )

and at the end of camp i was so glad to be back home. with aching arms & legs, ichy skin all over, insect bites, etc. and no i am not going for freshmen bash at MOS. bcos its a THURSDAY night.

Asoc camp coming up soon!

---------

driving is good! better than camp haha. drove better on congested 8am roads (: did some u-turns on major roads for the 1st time too. hehs. all in all, a good lesson, even on the morning right after camp.

--------

happy birthday!

heehee.

ok so i had driving lesson which was qt disastrous bcos its at 8am and there are alot of cars and my control ability is not very good esp under pressure frm MANY surrounding cars. but anw i did learn something out of this entire experience hehs. which is that i need to practice more! control of my leg pedals at various unforseen timings and circumstances.

then it was kbox! omg was damn funny i waited damn long for everyone to arrive. hehs. anw i felt qt bad but i inevitably hogged the mike very often. and sing until qt fun. heehee. (:

yay and i got presents. (:

i feel so touched tht ppl love me (:

heehee.

inventory:
chocs & card frm peijia
pooh bear waterbottle frm lq
perfume frm ts
makeup set, jigsaw puzzle, another nice photo frame of CERTAIN photos ( repeat of last yr ) by cy siu shan & qing! (:

-------

watched harry potter! think it was qt nice, but less dramatic than the previous one. maybe bcos the book itself is alittle draggy to begin with.

the last few hours of being 18.

guess where i spent it. yes you guessed it. tuition. haiiii

anw, met lq for lunch! tried a nice cafe at novena which i nv gone b4, and the food's qt nice! haha. i got a surprise too, altho its kinda leaked out alr by yours truely =p

i got a new pooh bear waterbottle! (:

-------

guess i mature qt abit during the past year. perhaps it was good influence from people around me, or simply due to work and etc. making more decisions, suffering more consequences, these are simply part and parcel of growing up.

more responsibilities, more burdens, more freedom.

the past year has been really SOMETHING. unexpected, both good and bad. met many many new people, changed alot in ideals and thought.

maybe, the next yr will be better.

happy birthday to me.

back from bondue run 1-smu biz camp 10-12 jul 07. (:

went for it late bcos of driving lesson in the morning. managed to reach there in time for after-lunch station games!

day 1 itenary: station games afternoon, fright night at changi chalets.
rushed lunch bcos i came late and then ended up rolling in the mud. supposed to wear t-shirts, roll and crawl in mud. naturally, me being the last, ended up with 10 extra shirts all stuck in the neck area ( frm the frantic rush to put them on by the team ) was so groggy and everything frm pulling the shirts off and rolling i started puking my lunch. lol. but the rest of the station games were ok i guess, with raunchy stuff like near-lip locking ( due to passing grapes using mouth only ) and gross stuff like dipping head into a pail of stuff made frm raw eggs and leftovers frm lunch. basically ended up like really really DIRTY and gross ( imagine rolling in mud ) plus cuts and stuff.

went off for fright night at changi chalets ( without bathing! =x ). went in for a "haunted house" tour where we're supposed to be scared. ok it was really scary at the start but towards the end when i began to adjust my eyes to the dark, it wasnt THAT scary haha at one point of time i was like being funny and whacking that girl's leg when i heard sudden sounds coming frm there. opps. was qt comfy at the chalet since we managed to get a whole bangalow for ourselves (: altho i cant slp on the hard bed, it was fun playing group games (:

day 2: return to sch for breakfast, amazing race afternoon, stage games "clubbing" drinking games all thru the night.

amazing race was qt fun as we walked ard the cbd area. hahaha my grp was so slack we actually stopped to eat lunch and surprisingly didnt come in last! (: heehee. we were not so hardcore racers =p

it was night activities that were very new to me. stage games were ok and i participated unlike my usual self heehee. then there was "clubbing" where a room was converted to a bar and dance area. tasted volka which is POTENT haha 40% alcohol can. then was kind of forced to dance with the crowd. was interesting but meaningless in my opinion. esp after some girl juz collapsed on the ground and all.

then was alcohol games where losers have to drink this mixture of volka+coke. played all through the night and no i didnt get drunk (: a variety of games, some of which were so dumb it was funny. haha. and i was so tired frm the lack of slp i was uttering rubbish for the games. there was some question game where we ask each other random qns without being able to answer. naturally i was asking stupid qns like " who invented the towel " which was so dumb and retarded that ppl started laughing and forfeiting. and i was so tired tht i kena forfeit so many times la. all the "passing cards using mouth " and all the raunchy stuff. talked to tian le too ( who is nearly drunk ) and realised many different stuff ( convo confidential since personal stuff were uttered by a tipsy guy ) so all these lasted until 6am.

guess i didnt slp much. day 3 was like a blur and i was a walking zombie until i reached home and promptly collapsed. its qt fun, a big culture shock tho, super tiring, but still fun.

(:

sometimes i feel that humans are really contradicting themselves.

there's this live earth concert going on, with efforts to raise awareness of environmental issues such as global warming, pollution, etc. while the intention is a great one, look at all the rubbish left behind after the mega concerts. so much rubbish that is polluting the environment. how nice.

and all the talk about seawater levels rising due to melting ice caps at the poles mountain tops, endangering the people on small islands. why then, the need for dubai to construct islands? so much engineering effort, to put dubai on the world map and the world map on dubai ( if u read papers u prob will hear of palm island and the 300 islands that collectively make up the "world map" on ariel view on satellite. ). what's the point of using so much sand, destroying so much corals and underwater life, to make islands that could be wiped out by rising seawater levels? might as well save the corals, and use the money for environmental efforts.

altho i hav to admit that the dubai reclaimed islands look really impressive when viewed frm satellite.

---------

went vivo & sentosa (:

went to eat sushi tei. 1st time im there and gosh. food is YUMMY (:

after tht went sentosa, and best part is the musical fountain show. the lights and effects were very good. highly recommended! best to go early so tht u can get tickets.

---------

weather: perfect
timing: perfect
planning: more than perfect.

maybe the sand and the rushing ard made it more realistic, and more...truely us =p

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early bdae celebration. plus got a very feminine present. heehee. guess i shld learn to behave like a lady. (:

so dear friends, any dates for my birthday? (:

smu matriculation!



overall it was confusing, and mindboggling. there were so many things to do, and so many ppl bombarding us with all sorts of information it was hard to keep up. it was supposed to take ard 1 hr plus but i ended up taking like 4 hrs! and i havent evem finish my laptop purchase yet. hehs. so i finally went back to get a laptop. its sigh. not what i wanted, but still, better than nth.

biz camp nxt tues to thurs
freshman camp 20-22jul
acct camp 26-28jul
and ndp cip courtesy of my cousin.
plus briefings etc.

AND i havent even started sch yet!

did i mention tht there are qt afew sn girls going to smu?

i am really happy today!

for driving lessons tdy my instructor turned up with a new shiny silver car! omg it looked so glam i was like hoping i can get to drive it one day then ... poof! my instructor stepped out of the car.

apparently he decided tht i can use the newer car since my tendency of crashing decreased. haha and the new car is COOL! (: i can drive on the roads glamourously overtaking other cars ( altho my driving is far frm good still ) it is a good achievement! (: got a feel of more different road conditions tdy.

nxt time i wanna own a glamourous car (:

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another fun girls-day-out with vanessa and grace! (:

pigged out over donuts and carl's jr! so fun to eat. yumyum. and tonnes of girl talk too. vanessa's gonna be a policewoman! that means soon i'll get to sit in a police car (: plus that van's top 10 stupid hits. really funny.

--------

kbox with siu was fun! one of the merits of having only 2 ppl in a kbox rm means i can hog the mike for the ENTIRE duration! (: heehee. my singing was badd but i think siu didnt notice how much i was trying to imitate her bcos apparently she thinks her singing's bad too when it wasnt. hahah.

then i was so darn indecisive during shopping, i ended up buying nth at all. zara sale was madd ( then again, zara's stuff are always marked up then return back to normal during sales, & i cant rmb going into a zara shop w/o sale ) and all the clothes are tossed everywhere. i do so love zara clothes but always cant find my size/colour/cutting. well nvm. maybe i shld go during non-sale period ( which is..when? ) so tht stuff are neater and the place is more "shopping friendly".

---------

i feel tht ive progressed qt alot for tdy's driving lesson (:

i drove pass sn tdy. sudd realised tht its very hard to drive there! hehs. maybe slopes is not one of my strong points. basically got a feel of the roads covered for pract test, the different road conditions ( i didnt know there were so many ard yck area ) and my car didnt stall as much now (: (:

soon i'll be a competent driver. hopefully by yr end! (:

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my uni checklist:

calculator ( my tuition kid spoilt it )
bag ( current one is in pieces )
pen refills
clear folders for my ring file
clothes ( wardrobe is not enuff for me to wear everyday )
formal jacket ( so tht i dun look too shabby when im too tired to dress up )
laptop

anyone wanna go shopping with me? (:
goodness that will cost me qt alot of money =x

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recently i often take bus 169 frm my hse to woodlands for tuition. along the way there's admiralty road with all the industrial estates.

during peak hrs ( ard 6+pm there will be many foreign workers, some of them cycling, some of them simply jaywalking to the pickup waiting for them.

somehow i cant help wondering whether they are afraid of dying in road accidents ( ive seen many near accidents and its not the bus driver's fault nor the fault of other drivers on the road ) or they simply dont treasure their life.

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tuition has made me exposed to different families and children's learning attitudes.

but in general i feel that there's a generation gap even between me and kids afew yrs younger. out of the many students i have taught, only but a mere few actually wanted to study. its so saddening having to force kids in their critical years to study for their major exams, to make them do their tys and assessment books PROPERLY, and to test them again and again to drill wadeva facts into their head.

most of the time i feel guilty for giving tuition because i feel that the family isnt very rich to begin with ( they are not poor either, just ur average typical family ) and the kids are like simply wasting their parent's money by forcing their parents to engage a tutor simply to sit down with them so that they will do afew maths sums.

at the very least they can show some appreciation to the tutor for teaching them? no most of the time they think that since the tutor is being paid, the tutor owe it to them to teach them and perform miracles so that their results can shoot up to the sky.

ive had afew very cool tuition kids. this pair of boys who call me miss dawn, and afew sec 4s who really genuinely wanted to study. that's my motivation for tutoring, in the hope that i can help those who really have the desire to improve themselves. that's what makes me put through "9-x=7 find x" and "2^x=16 find x" kind of qns for 45mins ( mind u that's a sec 4 im tutoring those algebra eqns ) and horribly attention-seeking pri sch kids.

i dont know what to say. i'll be starting school soon ( perhaps slightly later than my nus & ntu counterparts ) and i'll try my best to tutor whatever students i have now until their final exams as part of my responsibility.

til then, im looking out for dates for days/weeks leading up to my bdae. my friends out there please dont pull that disappearing act ( i promise not to blatantly ask for presents ok ) because i really love to have company ( and i can shift tuition if necessary (: )

-------------

more driving on the roads now.



i have great appreciation for the people who drive for a living. spore roads are HARD to drive, with the many traffic lights, and the predestrians who jaywalk indiscriminately. add that to the horrible ppl out there who take pride in spotting L plate drivers and horn repeatedly for fun, and it all adds up to =x



still, its fun to drive, and cool tht my instructor had enuff faith in me to let me ply the road along with other seasoned drivers (:



-------------



went back to rh for med checkup. interesting being a patient and not a staff there. have to admit they were pretty efficient ( judging frm the no of ppl there ) and service was good too. not bad guess they managed to hide all the backroom crap and present a really shiny image.

--------------

highlights of today's tuition.

----------

i stand at the door. gareth looks at me. walks away and say, there's a man at the door. its not dawn.

next: let me show you how i eat. he stuffs his mouth with food, then open it. all the half chewed stuff flow out of his mouth like a semi-liquid. ewww. he laughs.

mom: you know, gareth had a fight with his tutor. he sprayed water on her and she left half-way, before the lesson ended.

but she's smelly and has body odour and bad breath! so eeky.

ok i ask dawn to help u out for awhile. but that dosent mean that i wont ask gyllinda not to come again.

looks at me, used his finger to cut across his throat, mouthed silently " ure dead meat " with a snickering grin.

-------

mind you i was supposed to be his sis's tutor ( who is much more simple to tutor ) and not that attention-seeking boy.

hav to admit he's sort of like 3j, that kind of noisy class guys. and he's very adorable like his sister.

but he's gonna be a handful to tutor. i dont want to be sprayed with water =x

-------

*hint* its exactly ONE month to a very significant event (:

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2nd driving lesson! (:

more practice on the roads tdy under very wet and rainy conditions. and abit of slopes, more turning, and the most exciting part--being on a major road instead of ulu roads in the private estates.

was so interesting to drive along with so many cars! ok they were unfriendly and when they saw the L plates they horn at me for fun =x and my engine kept stalling on the road ( more horns ). traffic lights are tough, as with big lorries and indiscriminate parking of cars. no worries! the car is intact. no crashes yet (:

with luck, i will be a fast learner, and plus many more lessons, i will get my license by the end of the yr. then i will be the best reckless driver ever (:

anyone wanna hop in for a ride? =p

my 1st driving lesson!

granted, it was abit of theory initially since i need to know the controls on my instructor's car and all. and i stoned abit during that short theory. then when i got to the driver's seat i was like disaster in the making until i was restricted to 20km/h.

hahaha guess my instructor was afraid i will crash his car. and i think so too =p

but anw, i think i will stick to manual cars! bcos its more practical to learn once and be able to drive both manual and auto cars. besides, ive alr progressed in 1 1/2 hr to do turning, slopes, start/stop, change lanes, humps. ok so it was 20km/h but well i guess the instructor had to protect his car =p

fun (:

-------------

my recent purchase (: i like these more than those garish earrings on the market nowadays

---------------

have been walking ard various places and shopping/window shopping lately, since ive got a shopping list tht i accumulated for GSS ( and yes they are necessities not frivolous stuff ) and you know just how picky i am abt what i buy.

noticed quite afew things.

the singapore landscape has changed. bit by bit. shops change, the malls have extensions or new retail concepts, new eateries, etc. in fact, the shopping experience is now more towards suburban areas and heartlands. somehow the lure of orchard road is like not really as great as before. the 77th street concept is like adapted in many malls nowadays. with more and more newer malls/extensions opening up, i wonder how saturated will the market be.

i was at novena today and i was qt surprised with the extensions. when all the shops open i would like to shop there! much like an all-in-one concept. places like central, vivocity...there are more places than just orchard road and with the hinderance to the mrt station exits, its not very nice to go there anymore. i rmb feeling sick of cityhall bcos i was there too often alr ( since i worked in bugis ). somehow, suburban areas give more privacy, less crowds, and more proximity. with such evolution, its not really necessary to travel to town to shop anymore.

in fact, heartland areas like woodlands and tampines ( 2 of my rather frequented areas ) are developing very fast. so maybe next time, there isnt much need to travel to town to shop heehee. maybe amk too, but the hub's slow in developing tho.

---------

the transport network has evolved too. now its like all centralised to mrt stations, then buses are mainly feeder buses that bring ppl to and from mrt stations. bulk trunk longer dist buses are slowly being re-routed. i dont mind mrt, but actually, sometimes, i prefer buses. they can be much faster than taking mrt to town to change trains =x

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met up qt afew ppl these days! pirates with elin. its a nice movie and so long its worth ur money (: then shopping with winnie yest where i got myself a new pair of heels! (: and then tdy was with mc who "updated" me on stuff hehs.

it was upon hearing all the rj stuff, and looking back, that i felt i really have changed. previously, i was too caught up with all the chatter behind my back and all. the backstabbing and bitching. oh well and gossipping too. esp abt dy/dz. and all kinds of =x that made me very very =x abt rj until now.

guess ive been lucky to enjoy certain parts of school then. yet now, looking back, i realised tht i dont really care. all the who's who and what's what, relationship scandals, bitching backstabbing oh-so-and-so-didnt-get-into-this/that kind of convo dosent move me anymore, unless its someone really close to me.

i think i sounded very ya-i-think-i-heard-of-it-bt-didnt-bother-to-take-notice-of-it kind of way when mc was telling me stuff. haha. im juz alittle =x over stuff ive experienced.

---------

been reading the papers these days since im really free. so here are 2 interesting issues that normal ppl who read the papers/listen to the news/engage in small talk will most probably know about it.

1. nets raising transation fees.

so i thought about it. ok it makes sense if nets need more money due to wadeva undisclosed reason. then shops will probably have to pass the costs on to consumers. like for eg: pay more to use nets or else pay cash. esp for small retailers or stuff like sales ( esp in sun plaza central portion where always got sales going on ) there's only cash or nets mode of payment. so assuming i as a consumer want to avoid paying more, i pay cash.

so assuming the majority will think the same way as me, the majority, when asked to pay more to use nets, will opt to pay cash. the result: longer queues at atm machines ( not like its not long enuff alr, esp for dbs/posb atms ) the atms will run out of cash faster ( since more ppl go draw money ) banks will have longer queues, will need more manpower to be employed to count the cash ( since more cash is changing hands ) more security guards ( since ppl are carrying more cash with them for shopping hence robbery rates may increase )....

etc. the result? CASHLESS society? hoho. nice one.

i personally, love nets when im buying stuff. bcos i hate carrying too much money with me. esp coins. so troublesome. but, i will def avoid nets if being forced to by higher prices. on the flip side, if im a shopowner, i wouldnt want to bear the increased nets costs.

---------------

2. university woes.

one is closing down.
another 3 are facing letters frm parents saying abt "why my daughter/son cant get into local university"

personally, i have to say that, nus is really not being very efficient. plus, annoying when they keep calling me for unrelated stuff.

and competition? well sadly. this is dragon year after all.

if writing into the press can change things, i will also write in lor. and so will my friends, and like the majority of the parents/kids who didnt get their desired choices? lol

--------------

hahah great facial date with grace!

heehee. i think the jean yip facial is not bad. at least better than the previous one i went.

then went to conquer GSS (: but this yr's GSS is not good. the discounts are like gosh. i think i'll rather buy post-sale. sighs.

went to IT fair and gosh. i like viao laptop. but its EX.

anws, had a great day chatting and indulging with icecream and such. (:

its been a long time since i chilled out.

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life's been great. real holiday since the start of my jc life. welcomed breather.
somehow ive nv been able to feel bored at home since i sumhow managed to find qt alot of funny things to occupy my time.

then there's tuition which is qt free & easy ( altho the kids can be a handful =x )

got my new hp yest! sleek and cool LG choc. yay. hav been eyeing it for a long long time since it first made its apparence ard 1 yr ago. and now i own it! (: hav qt a fun time playing with my new "hi-tech toy" which is like one of the most tech-savvy gadget ive ever owned for a long time ( exculding my digi cam ) have been waiting and waiting until my contract ended yay so here's a new hp for me! plus new student plan. yay nw i hav free incoming and all u friends out there can call me and chat as long as u want (:

--------

i was right abt rmg. nv fail to dump all kinds of blame on the temps. like why will i want a calc which is like half-dying. glad i left that place.

--------

i shld stop thinking abt nus.

highlight of the day: mp house visit.



hoho in my entire life staying here this is the 1st time i actually met my mp and shake his hand. ok so he came with a whole entourage plus all the hulabalu days b4 when the grass was cut until damn nice, trees were trimmed, pavements were swept & muddy paths cleared.



no wonder my parents were asking him to come more often! so tht here will be very clean always. heehee.



----------



i felt like dumping all my angst to the health minister. luckily he had bodyguards to protect him.



----------

oh looks like im nt destined for dentistry. even the dental assist job ( which is qt like shit ) isnt successful. not like i would hav stayed long enuff anw.

i cleared my room today.

i rmb the last time i cleared my room was 6 mths ago. when i finished my alevels and my rm was so messy it was like un-inhabitable for humans.

now, 6 mths later, i was clearing the debris of shattered dreams and lost hopes.

tonnes of scholarship/higher education brochures. 3 full bags in fact. i sold them all to the garang guni man. loads of medical articles, sat times with the science sections. all dumped away.

all that's left on my table, is the path ive decided to take from now on. a letter, and a calculator.

"look ahead and move on dear, loads of people became successful because when one door closes another bigger, brighter door opens for you"

ive no more tears left. they're all shed that night, when i was with you, when you were comforting me with your presence.

my room, full of memories, little trinkets, tokens of love and friendship.
as i clear them, a part of me gets removed, shelved and stuffed into the dark corners of cupboard. closed shut. never revisited.

now its clean and pristine, ready for the next phase of my life, as i embrace the future, and wonder what i would have been

if not for lost hopes and shattered dreams.

im but still a little girl beneath that confident exterior.

-----------

and my 6 mths in rmg has officially ended at 6pm today.
felt really liberated, with no more shit and backlog anymore, but i guess i will miss the people i meet here.

felt rather loved when i got a cushion frm them passed to me by winnie. zhi yang wen cang and mei lan gave me choc! (: so sweet. hehs. and lunch at blue jazz was a nice affair, with lee lim treating us last-day-temps.

and i cleared my entire desk clean, much unlike what i inherited when i came. heh you all shld be proud of me bcos im very proud of myself for surviving there

and ts celebrated with me in the evening. intro-ed me to yummy noodles. and the ice cream indulgence is heavenly. sinful indulgence. hahah not to mention tht "joke of the century" =p

(:

------------

and i shld hav known that tdy was too good to be true.

but anws, i hav made a decision alr.

thanks for all those who cared abt me.

(:

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as expected, smu tea session is much better than the ntu one.

or maybe im alr biased. heehee.

but really, the dean shld understand that she has to provide the pull factor aka money so tht i dun hav to worry abt ever rising ( not that its alr high enuff ) fees. plus i know just how much food etc costs in the city since im here every other day.

------------

met up with estella! heehee. havent seen here for so long! (:

ate icecream. went to look at shoes, and i saw qt afew heels tht i like! (: my shopping instincts turned on again.

-------

and here i am today, trying to look busy by staying at my seat. i agree with daddy. its tiring to act busy when ure not in the first place.

i noticed an interesting observation:

it dosent matter what you are doing in front of the comp. as long as ure typing and all, ppl will think ure busy, regardless of what ure typing. meaning----if i msn/internet chat, then ppl think im busy bcos im furiously typing, eyes glued to the comp, and not getting out of my seat.

and ppl only think ure free when u walk ard and stuff, aka SHOW and announce to everyone that ure free, and then the next moment, ppl will ask u to "help" them, aka dump shit to you for u to clear.

more shit=more responsibilities=more opportunities for ppl to shift blame onto you.

hence, its better to look busy (:

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choices. choices.

ntu acct tea session was so totally UN-impressive. no arguments there. me and shan were like =x. and not like its very accessible for me. and even further away for shan!

like pls if even ts who's nt given an offer and juz being dragged along bcos i tot shan nt coming w me isnt impressed, what abt ppl who are actually being offered a place there?

the alumni was boasting abt her family's income of 10k per mth, the prof is forcing us to talk and so i cant go get multiple helpings w/o feeling like im being rude by leaving the table for awhile ( bt my stomach won so i still went to get more food ). and we were practically being forced to sit on the table with the prof, who shot me down straight when i asked abt double degree. oohh so erm im nt gd enuff to handle double degrees & specialisations. =x

true the huge no of accreditions are good, but erm, i can get my cpa in smu too. juz tht smu very ex only.

and not like acct is my 1st choice anw. its juz tht my 1st choice abit the hard to get only =x

shall go for smu acct session to look see. hopefully its more impressive at least.

------------

true job satisfaction comes when you feel like you've accomplished something, be it a new lesson learnt, or seeing the results of your hard work bear fruit.

i once felt tht way at rmg, when i actually managed to survive and sort-of cope with the huge volume of work, and sumhow figure out all the debit/credit stuff and all tht nobody bothered to teach me and dumped me with everything. i felt like ive learnt sth largely on my own, and that was satisfaction.

and that was afew wk/mths (?) ago. now, im bored since satisfaction is over-riden by stress, blame shifting, and alot of ridiculous demands like moving office frm one side of the building to another, and having to pack and unpack. if the workstation isnt enough, there's storeroom! =x and learning became survival. learn to survive.

and thus, its time to leave. its been 6 mths. since i left sch and started work. time to rest and take a break.

btw, anyone has anything to intro me ( jobs, attachments, tuition etc ) pls feel free to tell me! call sms or tag (:

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and satisfaction, is when your tuition kid improves (: dear brandon has passed his maths! (: and he's like " tcher guess how many marks i got? " with that sneaky grin.

and that makes me push chiew pang on his chi no matter how much he yawns and slouches =p

off to write argumentative essay pointers! i feel like a sec sch kid all over again (:

had a really fun time tonight.

met new people again. watched spiderman. basically, was in the company of very lame and retardedly humourous ppl. =p

(:

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really happy and relaxed.

no results-based sterotyping, status comparing, who's who and where...
oh and did i mention tht huaming sent me home bcos its past 12am. and he juz met me erm...twice?

how charming & sweet hehs. (:

lol. compare tht to sum of the rj guys.

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i got tagged! so here's that.

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Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. i have a dawnieduckie junior who is 17 yrs younger than me and has a birth cert! (:

2. i like nice looking hps rather than functional ones, as long as they can sms, call, and last long ( abt 2 yrs of tlc ) then appearance of hp is more impt. *hint: im eyeing tht LG choc hp & waiting for price to drop further =p

3. im obsessed with certain stationary. eg: my 2 special G2 pens. one with black cover, red tip ( black ink ) one with black cover, purple tip ( blue ink ). and it has been with me for years and years. and i love clicking it during exams rapidly bcos tht stimulates my mind ( until i was told it was horribly irritating to others ard me )

4. i like bling blings selectively. small is big for me. yet for certain stuff big is loud and good=p eg big shiny ribbon on heels ( think dmk's heels ). in fact, only 2 ppl hav ever gave me jewellery w/o pink/butterfly/stary designs that i love. they are : cy & ts. coincidentally, stuff frm both of them matches (:

5. i like to keep lots and lots of junk stuff. like notes passed ard during class in sn, v-day in sn, small notes collected throughout my band years ( POPs, band concerts, syfs ) smses, even stuff like flower wrappers when i get flowers during concerts and v-day. oh plus a container full of neoprints, small little trinkets i got frm grad, blah blah. i hav like 2 boxes and a cupboard full of those stuff alr.

6. i cant stand slping late so if i need to study, i rather slp early ( eg 10-11 pm ) and wake up super early ( 3 am ) to study. for me, waking up past 9am is late. =p

ok the 6 lucky ppl being tagged are: cy, shan, qing, siumin, xetrox, jiaqi (:

spread the love (:

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maybe its too hard to quantify, the little quaint bits and pieces that make up those enormous jumbled-up feelings.

tired. physically and mentally.

and the only thing i wish for at this particular moment, evaporated into mist because its simply, as all that has happened, fate.

got a ray of hope recently. which made me feel, like perhaps, what happened before made me know that this is really what i want.

-----

is it so hard to make our paths cross.
we create destiny, as the saying goes.
yet why do i feel like
i was swept up by fate.
to turn my head. to walk. to make the choices. to influence and be influenced

tired. of the multitude of work.
perhaps im just not used to being perfect all the time.

where are you

-------

why do i feel like im losing control of my mind--

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kind of know where im gonna go come july-aug soon, altho im keeping kinda quiet except with ppl im close to. not exactly where i wanted, but not too bad either. just alright.

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not bad. i finished 1 mth's tuition alr. wow. fast. time does fly. and i got rather cool students (:

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fri-sat was moving day! finance dept had to move frm one part of RH to another. grrr. so dumb. and was packing and packing. and there were so many things to clear. and i was shredding and shredding and packing and throwing stuff away. was aching all over and so terribly exhausted like i dunno wad.

and mon was unpacking day. cleaning, all the dust, trying to find all the stuff and make sure nth's missing, trying to get accustomed to the lack of space and privacy ( im sitting along the corridor right at the entrance of finance dept ). and i rmb complaining abt me nt wanting to move. guess i did move after all.

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cant really describe.

an abstract blurriness of meshed-up feelings.

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had a great day catching up with grace! (: took a day off work, slept alot alot ( to make up for lost slp ) then went to rj to visit grace for lunch. ate alot, talked alot, and ate even more.

then slept alot b4 going for tuition. woohoo my ideal holiday.

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that's why its called ideal. bcos idealism hardly ever happens.

a very fast and packed and tiring week!

but it has been really fun (:

main thing was that tuition officially started with a LOUD bang with all the 1st lessons, meeting-parents-and-try-to-impress-them stuff, meeting the kids, trying very hard to rmb all the syllabus and how i was taught, blah blah.

and the "miss dawn i finished my essay" pair is qt interesting =p

so damn tiring. but i kind of love tuition (:

happy public holidays! (:

fri was good friday holiday and wow. it was good seeing 3j again. class lunch at vil'age tht new place in place of marche which moved to vivo. hmms rather similar to marche anw. hehs. yum! then the guys had 2nd round of eating at nydc.

then went off to meet ts. (: (: shant elaborate much, except tht i got myself grounded for going home late :s

sat was significant bcos i taught tuition! (: was qt shocking to realise tht i practically forgotten my sciences. grrr. thankfully i still managed to teach until the kid understood me (: qt fun! (:

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isnt it unfair that some people are disadvantaged because of politics?

the role of the govt: to provide for all.

why is it that, just a short bus ride ahead, i see bus stops that are like those orange old old kind from i dunno how long ago tht i thought didnt existed alr due to upgrading. and absence of covered linkways to mrt stns/adjacent blocks, absence of shopping centre, post office, bank ( save for afew atm machnies ) darkness when it reaches 7plus pm due to absence of light at public areas ( eg: walkway to mrt stn ). plus very dirty common areas under hdb flats. that area is so full of old folks mainly, in comparision to the nearby housing estate 1 bus ride away. i think the mrt stn is the nicest thing there.

fully airconditioned bus interchange, amenities, nice and clean hdb blocks. esp the nice and rain-blocking bus stops tht prevent ur legs frm getting too wet during heavy rain with lights so tht its not too dark at night. and blah blah.

maybe that's the diff between proposition and opposition.

preferential treatment.

all i can say is that, i dun think i'll wanna buy a house there.

the great disparity.

how saddening.

maybe all those interviews and apps are good. it made me used to being interviewed lol.

went for smu interview and it was interesting talking abt accounts and F1 cars all tgt :p

somehow i feel that work now has became alot more challenging nowadays. so many problematic cases. blah blah. jiayan juz joined rmg as temp staff at heart centre. makes me wanna migrate there too, if only for a change of environment.

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why do instinctive actions make me feel so out-of-control.

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shall update more often! abt my wkend outings (:

a short few hours can be tres memorable (:

it was friday. was rushing work which is piling up like i dunno wad.

then got an sms " can i call you "

then got a call, some good news to share (: and i felt so honoured to be one of the first to know hehs. (:

then followed was a drastic change of plans, 2 paper cuts on my finger, and a plaster appearing from "nowhere" (:

next was dinner at esplanade whereby someone prompted me to fill up a feedback form. usually i do not fill up such forms but i guess, after my waitressing stint i was more understanding of the difficulties of their work. and then i added a BIG girly smiley on the comments section.

and it made someone's day (:

such a short few hours, can emarge such happy endings.

happy endings can be created.

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i treasure quality time with all my friends (:

next up: starbucks cum shopping date with winnie! (:

and 1 week passed by before i could even take a breather.

such fast pace. the intensity of deadlines. of furiously-written essays. of applications.

of another yacht club waitressing experience that left me sour and sick of the rich-poor divide.

of people that make me feel secure in their presence.

---------------

the yacht club waitressing experience showed me the flip side of an F&B outlet. from being a customer complaing of lousy service, i became the victim of complains. i began to realise the effects of short-staffed F&B outlets, the feeling of trying to finish everything quickly and in then end, inevitably giving sub-standard service.

i began to see, the difference between expats and local customers. the difference is startling. now i know why expats are given preferential treatment. they earned it by being a good customer. one does not throw his/her weight ard just bcos he/she is paying money. or dirty the whole area since "im paying for ppl to clean up after me" or start scolding ppl when their whim and fancy isnt satisfied. wth i'll rather run away with your order in case you didnt realise i havent tasted a drop of water for goodness knows how many hours and it took great strength not to devour ur icecream.

sadly, local customers need to learn. maybe im a culprit too? i hope not.

--------------

went exploring tdy! hehs went central bcos heard frm steph tht its a new place. its not fully opened yet but wow! found a dress there that someone said complimented my nice figure (: of course i bought it. then went night safari!

havent been to night safari since more than 10 yrs ago when it was different. took the tram ride, then walked ard. funn!!! hahah the night feel is much more fun (:

tired but happy. impluses can turn out very well (:

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was qt a weird experience wearing my rj u for the last time yest.

qt fun being a "fake j2" but then everyone was staring at me with the "ure so ultra childish" look. wells. anw. got a haircut for super cheap ( since according to someone i look 16 ) haha.

guess the kid phrase of my life is kinda over and its adult life frm now on.

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and i was sitting on the swing, something i havent done for so many years. sitting at that particular spot, thinking about how far ive come and how much further i have to go.

weird tranquility, the unorthodox. outer peace vs internal debate.

so rare that i have the time to spend on myself.

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its time i learn how to cook good food. and i mean really good food.

have never felt the immense need before.

perhaps sometimes, important people have that strong "push" factor.

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went for smu open house! was rather interesting, got to walk ard the campus which i havent done b4. thankfully someone was nice enuff to nt mind being dragged to smu :p like a 2nd citylink :p

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sometimes alot of things cant be explicitly expressed on blogs. maybe that's why this particular post is so jumbled up.

Is image important?

for service staff, prob yes.

went to a chinese restaurant for dinner bcos its yuan xiao ( last day of lunar new yr ). food's nice. but what made the dining experience less pleasant was the dressing of the waiters and waitresses.

sum of the males tuck out their shirt, unbutton the 1st few buttons of their shirt, and fold up their sleeves like sum construction worker. then there was a female waitress who was wearing a polo t-shirt and sandals. hmms they made qt a lasting impression. not a good one at least.

we always say, its the substance that matters. yet often, the packaging does matter too.

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i should learn to be less emotional.

perhaps, the hardest thing is to accept your own flaws and shortcomings, and then applying the same principle for others.

because with that comes a sincere "sorry" "please forgive me".

often, that is one of the hardest thing to say in person.

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lots of life decisions to be made, to shape our future direction.

lots of trust and understanding, as emotions wear thin and tension grows.

was rather irked by the interview, nt to mention i rushed there frm sch after all the hyped up nervousness and spent alot on cab fare.

was tired of putting a face at rj. was tired of being asked abt my results. not that they are bad but ya, my level of satisfaction dosent involve a perfect score like those ppl going on stage.

spent the past 2 days with people that mattered alot to me. people who i can be myself and not hide my emotions. and that's all the encouragement i need to break out of the rigid structure and carve my own niche.

and it was finally lunchtime. a much needed break from work.

after munching at fu lu shou hawker centre, a grp of us went window shopping at bugis street. went to 2nd floor.

what caught my eye wasnt the tonnes of female apparel. rather, it was a notice in front of a particular shop warning potential shoplifters that there is cctv in the shop. it had some serious grammatical mistakes and looked like sth that will be featured in the sunday times gen-y section that small corner with speak gd english movement or sth like tht, or stomp.

and so, since i didnt see any shopkeeper ard, i read it out loud, correcting the grammatical mistakes as i read along. the next moment, i turned around to see the shopkeeper glaring at me, and my friends giving me the " why u nv get our hint to shut up " look.

act blur and siam!

:p lol. interesting.

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went waitressing on sun! was qt fun. juz tht super tiring, and did i mention i scalded my arm with hot soup. ouch. and utensils used at banquets are like made to look clean when they are in fact, dirty and not washed properly. and when u put alot of them tgt wow do they smell nice :S and i was aching all over but thanks to someone, got a very nice neck and shoulder massage tht relieved the strain (: then lao yusheng with the waitresses and waiters and was qt funny esp when the malays find yusheng so amusing. hahahaha.

good and humbling experience.

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discovered sth new! internet sms!

damn cool sending sms frm internet. its like a metamorphosis of msn chat except tht you can send to ppl who are not online! they can juz simply receive sms frm whereever they are and dun hav to be infront of the comp to reply you! (:

other than that, life has been pretty mundane so far. work is well...work. gonna start trying new things soon! went sentosa the other day and ok sentosas flowers isnt very nice, but it does evoke memories of me happily reciting humpty dumpty etc. those were the carefree days...

elizabeth's last day tdy. sadd la ppl leaving alr. i do not want to be left alone in the office with no more lunch buddies.

shall blog more tmr.

chinese new year eve

tonnes of spring cleaning! cleaned the windows and the door. bleah so tiring. then ate steamboat for reunion dinner! after that went chinatown to grab cheap stuff. after that start decorating the yin liu.

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sounds like a typical nundane cny eve? perhaps it is.

yet, i wonder how much ive come to expect that sort of family togetherness whenever its chinese new year. and i wonder how much i will miss that sort of thing next time.

you can always build your own set of traditions.

perhaps. yet old habits die hard.

mummy nagging at us to eat leak and pushing us to decorate the hse.
daddy screeching at just how much time do we need to choose our new cny clothes.

smses and calls from friends and well-wishers.

i wonder how much i will miss if i go overseas.

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happy valentines day!

hahas got qt afew wishes frm friends via sms/msn! thank you (:

had a very very enjoyable day ( except work of course! ) hehs.

thanks to a resourceful someone i ended up eating lebanese food for dinner. a very refreshingly new and yummy experience. plus nice ambience and very good customer service. plus did i mention tht we practically got the whole 2nd floor to ourselves plus a nice sofa. highly recommended if you'll like a unique dining experience tht's nt overly pricey and avoid the crowds at the same time.

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never step out of the safe path
never allow any vulnerability again.

in life, its all about taking risks, making choices, and living your life to the fullest every moment. acting on impulse, instinct, these are all part and parcel of how life is made unpredictable every moment.

if not for these, perhaps there wont be any today. if not for chance encounters. if not for implusive instincts that happen for no particular reasons.

that's why everything happens for a reason, even if it appears to be for no particular reason. because actions now shape your future in big or tiny ways.

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went for tht F&B training tdy! hahas not bad i learnt qt afew stuff. esp soft skills. i think studying too much killed abit of such initiative. bt kena abit when i suggested banquet-ing nxt sat evening by parents and ts. and ServQ's office location is also a rather...sensitive issue. wells. guess you cant have the best of both worlds.

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i rmb thinking tht those girls at ServQ were damn chio, and it got me thinking abt my various eye candies. and after awhile, i realised that, no matter what, eyes will see. heads will turn. isnt it human nature to be visually-attracted to pleasant-looking things/people? so you owned a million pairs of shoes. yet you see this unbelievably-chio heel that's on a super good offer. what do you do? buy it and own a million and one pair of shoes or decided tht a million pair of shoes is enough?

thankfully i'll nv face tht prob bcos i nv have a million pair of shoes but im alr controlling my spending :p

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i keep feeling very sick. ok not very sick, but those kind of not-here-not-there kind of sick. sometimes bad sometimes ok :S

and with PRUDENTIAL cheques, sore eyes are a common fixture :S i think when backlog has been cleared, i'll need an eye transplant. and my throat. badd. which affects everything else. plus why do i feel so tired so often. not good.

there's a new guy benjamin sitting nxt to me in the office! hahas finally some company in the office. i was getting kinda lonely and wondering if i made the right choice extending my contract. hahah now there's someone else clearing cynthia's backlog!

looking at him, it reminds me of a few mths ago when i first started work. goodness the "work ethics" hav kinda sunk into me.

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went to do a facial tdy. painful experience. and i mean it literally. goodness. poke and poke.

plus sum rather 'unpleasant' misunderstanding. shant elaborate further. but i have to say, in the end the deal is nt bad. just that service sucks.

bleah if only my complexion is good.

uhh but its gd to spend time with shan! hahahs sum rather jian stuff at ljs when i juz snatched an empty table right in front of a grp of ppl who've been camping there for qt awhile :p well they were pissed, but being jian at tht moment after keying PRUDENTIAL cheques, i juz didnt care :p then qt abit of very retarded and qt brainless stuff.

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i cant promise that everything will stay the same.
but i can promise to change in tandem with you if you're important to me
and i can promise to change nothing as far as memories are concerned.

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seen too much uncertainty these days. felt too much of it. part of me resists the change, yet part of me know that, i am already changing, bit by bit. felt too much new-ness in my life. too many new people, too many new places. too many first impressions. too many new risks.

i remember the last afternoon of jan i was stuck in a storeroom at level 12 with ayu and this new tj girl, packing and clearing the storeroom. tiring tedious job, not to mention utmost brainless. yet, i learnt alot from our conversations. somehow, the need to communicate, the need to open up, the yearning has always been there, the idealism, the saddening reality, and a eye-opener to the situation that is called the working world.

did i mention that cynthia has left.

dunno why it made a significant impact on me. maybe it was because i felt that her future dosent lie here? or the fact that i was mainly doing her work and is continuing to clear her backlog now. or maybe, because she just simply left an impression on me for being willing to absorb and correct my mistakes, and to stay back with me that night with my worst-ever disastrous mistake. in any case, her table was the first ive went to, her work my first "assignment" and the most mistake-prone one too.

jiayan left too. after the subway and photos. come tomorrow, i better get used to being alone at level 11 again.

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meeting is a pleasure
parting is a sorrow.
let there be no sorrow,
only memories of a happy yesterday

hahahs. i happen to love hugs and cuddles. *give me a cuddle*

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cant believe i worked at rmg for 2 mths alr.

cy's bdae last wk! ( ok abit backdated ) but yes all of us met up after so long! (:

bought cy an LBD ( zh arh, ure so gonna faint :p ) and basically walked, shopped, talked, ate. ( and did i mention tht shan was like dying cos of tom yam soup :p ) goodie i love meetups. and i bought nice clothes for myself (:

and i learnt tht choc cream chip frapuchinno ( or sth similar to this ) at starbucks is very very nice (:

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colours. they reflect your personality. subconsciously, they stimulate your senses.

dont you realise that different people are attracted to different colours of clothes. and after awhile, it shapes your wardrobe and hence part of your personality perceived by others based on the colours you wear. shopping, as advised, shouldnt be done alone, but with another individual who knows you well enough yet have a different perception of things.

to inject colours into you, to prod and push you to try seemingly outrageous clothes, just so they can complement you on a nice choice and persuade you to get it. and unknowingly, your life adds zest, just like your wardrobe adds that dash of colour.

personality shaping? not really, simply an exposure to something you dare not try, until proded with assurance from others.

decided to try blue cos cy keeps insisting tht i will look stunning in it. ok so i bought a blue skirt. and i liked it very much! (:

maybe that's why people should shop more, bcos that's a way to add colour, not just to your wardrobe, but your life as well.

isnt your life more colourful with the people around you? (:

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and that is why, people can be the main cause of depression among oncology patients.

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the purpose of us doing this study: to highlight this area often overlooked in spore and hopefully improving the patients' emotional wellbeing.

what seems like a simple surveying patients kinda thing gave me much food for thought.

in particular, a few patients that i have the fortune to meet today, and the opportunity to listen to them and hear their stories. ( perhaps this is biased in the sense that they are mostly eng ed and can articulate their viewpoints better? )

this man, english educated, highly paid job. and he looked up to us with such sincerity and hope that i felt so strongly for him and his effort to share his viewpoints even after being poked by needles. he sees us rj grads, bright people, with the potential to become leaders of tommorrow. to change things, to make it a better place.

he reflect the issues that contribute to depression, the real root of the problem that we've been trying to identify through our survey. external factors that can turn someone so cheerful to being a depressed person.

shant list all those stuff, after all, in spore, alot of stuff just cant be said, unless u want ppl to sue u or sth.

-note: his wife and nurse thinks he's depressed. what i see is someone who is cheerful and smiles at me, welcomes a stranger in t-shirt and no official tag and did a survey. --

i must fight to get that message spread. this is the purpose of doing this research proj. to be their voices. to give back what we've taken from society.

-to be continued-really tired now-

what exactly is a career.

something that you enjoy? something that you do that impact others? that you can see yourself progressing?

somehow i realised that the 20s and perhaps 30s want a career. at ard 40s or 50s, career sumhow becomes a job with paycheck. and progression became linked to how your paycheck increases.

what happened in the middle.

must have been lost ideals and the immediate pressures of society.

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in the short span of 1 mth, ive learnt alot since stepping out of school. lessons at work, lessons out in society.

lessons of life.

realisations about myself, through interviews where i give naturally spontaneous and unprepared ans more often than not ( since im lazy to prepare for interviews :p ) observations around me, through interaction with people i meet.

how the world, is filled with so many ugly things, and how people are not just imperfect, but far from imperfection. look at how charity has became a profitable "company" and how the kidney patients suffer the most from the drop in donations.

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somehow, doing sth i liked with someone and exploring a new place on top of it, makes me feel very happy (: not to mention knowing someone put in extra effort in accompanying me along to places someone will not step into :p and for such a long duration too hahaha.

was shopping tdy! went to taka for beef noodles which is nice (: then kino with the intention to spend my kino vouchers! still hav sum left! but yes bought friction books for the 1st time in ages! ( normally i borrow frm lib ). very happy. then went to vivo bcos i havent been there officially to see the whole thing b4. so was walking ard and shopping for cny/work clothes concurrently. such a nice place to shop! big spacious plus nice stuff. did i mention tht my size seems unavailable :S

shopping for the whole afternoon was nice! ( altho sumone wun think so :p ) yes a big thank you to you for allowing me to drag you into many shops with female apparel and sacrificing ur feet ( im sure they hurt ).

very nice company, plus a very very nice compliment which i will rmb. *hugs* (:

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the complexities of adulthood.

work has became tolerable, neutral, normal, somewhat pleasant at certain instances. met more ppl at work. there's this new girl amanda frm nj. so there's a jc gang alr! me elizabeth jiayan qiaoqi and amanda. ppl to lunch with instend of that loner i was 1 mth ago when i was literally alone and the only jc temp there. things have improved somewhat and ive gone frm that innerly (you muz be proud im using UR vocab :p ) screaming worker to a more content, satisfied worker. no longer being pushed around from table to table like a normad, but now, with a permanent place, a new LCD comp, more like-minded ( aka jc grads ) ppl ard and a payslip at hand, things seem more....bearable?

gotten used to the braindrain everyday, the small little pleasures in life, like that L12 hot drinks dispensing machine, the music at the toilet, connie and kelly with their very endearing "xiao mei" . the work that ive sort of familiarised myself with, the motions, the day-to-day proceedings, the hideout corner where im sitting now, free newspapers everyday, lack of hw...

with work comes payslip, with payslip comes independence. you buy what you want, you go where you wish. since you are paying for yourself, then parents wun exactly care much how you spend ur money. right?

wrong. since you are paying for yourself, your meals, your transport, etc, you start to notice how hard money comes by, and how easily it flies.

and how selflessly parents have parted with hard-earned money for you all these years.

you start to feel the sense of detachment, of loneliness, of intoxicating senses and drugs that seem to permeate from every corner. wild sexy, sweet, and all but familiar.

comfort zone. was there one in the first place.
out there in the harsh and unforgiving world.

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and i nearly died.

minutes later i was eating dinner, discussing about money matters and social issues with my dad, settling ncc proj stuff.

just like how it would have been otherwise.

cant help wondering what would happen if i was really dead.

perhaps then, the last food i ate would be kfc
the last person i met would be a stranger on the street
and the last time i met my close friends...ages ago
last memorable moment...fireworks at marina countdown

a rather..."lets not go down that train of thought" kinda situation.

and i guess, my remedy was having a person to share with, to talk to, to listen to me.
thanks for being that remedy and there at that moment for me (:

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Summer Of Life

The summer waves of halcyon days come
Tumbling to the shore
Lapping in the gentlest cadence
Of memories young at war

If yesterday could stay forever
If time could wait a year
If we could still be there together
I’d live it all once more

Yet if I were given half the chance
To turn this winter’s tide
I would only change the ending story
And never say goodbye

Can you tell if I were somebody
Who liked to reminisce
About what seemed so ordinary
Life inside a dream

If somewhere in that summer of life,
I Just could have spoken true
Oh to have known just how much I loved you
What you’d come to mean

And if you had asked if I would hope
To have us stay this way?
Now I know the answer to the question:
I’d never say goodbye

And if this winter twilight
Drew on halcyon days
My only recollection
A still deep summer haze

The days we spent so idly
Watching clouds go by
Though now they ring a distant,
A fading lullaby

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sudd chanced upon it. the song mr khoo sang for us at the last day of band: handover.
i rmb at that point i was rather unfeeling and detached, rather, its now that i read the lyrics that i can slowly remember

the instances and people that have made my band life memorable even if at times it wasnt.

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happy new year! (:

the last day of 2006 was spent out! literally whole day. was qt a diff experience for me.

at 10plus am i was sudd told to be at tamp afew hrs later. goodness was still half-awake and was abit disoriented and living at another end of spore. decided to rush abit and buses can be quick nowadays (:

met qt afew new ppl ( i seem to be meeting many new ppl nowadays ) and then watched death note 2! which is a very nice movie ( coming frm a non-manga fan this is a huge compliment ) such twists and turns. so much suspense up till the very end. a must watch! (:

another new thing: exercising my shopping ability to convince someone to get sth that he/she didnt think he/she will wear. woosh! and i gotta tell you, i hav qt good taste ok. purple shirts are nice (:

next was meeting more new ppl. and embarking to marina area for countdown. tried sth new for dinner and it was really nice. changing appetite. (:

sth else new: getting caught in what was one of the most uncontrolled crowds. and i was right in the middle of it. goodness was terrible. and those bangadeshees kept pushing me in the opp direction. was pushed ard and me being light dosent help matters :S uhh but one good thing: im nt alone (:

best part: at 12midnight. fireworks display was simply gorgeous (: those 8 mins of brillance. suspended in time, hype, and the festivities. it was one of the nicest that ive seen (: plus with good and very humourous company ;p

last new thing: getting onto the last mrt train. in otherwords, rushing for it.

2007, a yr of uncertainties for me, with future paths unclear, and results unknown. funniest thing is that, when sch repoens, i have no sch to go to. surreal.

new year, new experiences.

on another note, havent met alot of my friends for very long! we muz meet up soon! (: