the complexities of adulthood.

work has became tolerable, neutral, normal, somewhat pleasant at certain instances. met more ppl at work. there's this new girl amanda frm nj. so there's a jc gang alr! me elizabeth jiayan qiaoqi and amanda. ppl to lunch with instend of that loner i was 1 mth ago when i was literally alone and the only jc temp there. things have improved somewhat and ive gone frm that innerly (you muz be proud im using UR vocab :p ) screaming worker to a more content, satisfied worker. no longer being pushed around from table to table like a normad, but now, with a permanent place, a new LCD comp, more like-minded ( aka jc grads ) ppl ard and a payslip at hand, things seem more....bearable?

gotten used to the braindrain everyday, the small little pleasures in life, like that L12 hot drinks dispensing machine, the music at the toilet, connie and kelly with their very endearing "xiao mei" . the work that ive sort of familiarised myself with, the motions, the day-to-day proceedings, the hideout corner where im sitting now, free newspapers everyday, lack of hw...

with work comes payslip, with payslip comes independence. you buy what you want, you go where you wish. since you are paying for yourself, then parents wun exactly care much how you spend ur money. right?

wrong. since you are paying for yourself, your meals, your transport, etc, you start to notice how hard money comes by, and how easily it flies.

and how selflessly parents have parted with hard-earned money for you all these years.

you start to feel the sense of detachment, of loneliness, of intoxicating senses and drugs that seem to permeate from every corner. wild sexy, sweet, and all but familiar.

comfort zone. was there one in the first place.
out there in the harsh and unforgiving world.

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and i nearly died.

minutes later i was eating dinner, discussing about money matters and social issues with my dad, settling ncc proj stuff.

just like how it would have been otherwise.

cant help wondering what would happen if i was really dead.

perhaps then, the last food i ate would be kfc
the last person i met would be a stranger on the street
and the last time i met my close friends...ages ago
last memorable moment...fireworks at marina countdown

a rather..."lets not go down that train of thought" kinda situation.

and i guess, my remedy was having a person to share with, to talk to, to listen to me.
thanks for being that remedy and there at that moment for me (:

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