maybe its too hard to quantify, the little quaint bits and pieces that make up those enormous jumbled-up feelings.

tired. physically and mentally.

and the only thing i wish for at this particular moment, evaporated into mist because its simply, as all that has happened, fate.

got a ray of hope recently. which made me feel, like perhaps, what happened before made me know that this is really what i want.

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is it so hard to make our paths cross.
we create destiny, as the saying goes.
yet why do i feel like
i was swept up by fate.
to turn my head. to walk. to make the choices. to influence and be influenced

tired. of the multitude of work.
perhaps im just not used to being perfect all the time.

where are you

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why do i feel like im losing control of my mind--

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kind of know where im gonna go come july-aug soon, altho im keeping kinda quiet except with ppl im close to. not exactly where i wanted, but not too bad either. just alright.

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not bad. i finished 1 mth's tuition alr. wow. fast. time does fly. and i got rather cool students (:

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fri-sat was moving day! finance dept had to move frm one part of RH to another. grrr. so dumb. and was packing and packing. and there were so many things to clear. and i was shredding and shredding and packing and throwing stuff away. was aching all over and so terribly exhausted like i dunno wad.

and mon was unpacking day. cleaning, all the dust, trying to find all the stuff and make sure nth's missing, trying to get accustomed to the lack of space and privacy ( im sitting along the corridor right at the entrance of finance dept ). and i rmb complaining abt me nt wanting to move. guess i did move after all.

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cant really describe.

an abstract blurriness of meshed-up feelings.

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had a great day catching up with grace! (: took a day off work, slept alot alot ( to make up for lost slp ) then went to rj to visit grace for lunch. ate alot, talked alot, and ate even more.

then slept alot b4 going for tuition. woohoo my ideal holiday.

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that's why its called ideal. bcos idealism hardly ever happens.

a very fast and packed and tiring week!

but it has been really fun (:

main thing was that tuition officially started with a LOUD bang with all the 1st lessons, meeting-parents-and-try-to-impress-them stuff, meeting the kids, trying very hard to rmb all the syllabus and how i was taught, blah blah.

and the "miss dawn i finished my essay" pair is qt interesting =p

so damn tiring. but i kind of love tuition (:

happy public holidays! (:

fri was good friday holiday and wow. it was good seeing 3j again. class lunch at vil'age tht new place in place of marche which moved to vivo. hmms rather similar to marche anw. hehs. yum! then the guys had 2nd round of eating at nydc.

then went off to meet ts. (: (: shant elaborate much, except tht i got myself grounded for going home late :s

sat was significant bcos i taught tuition! (: was qt shocking to realise tht i practically forgotten my sciences. grrr. thankfully i still managed to teach until the kid understood me (: qt fun! (:

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isnt it unfair that some people are disadvantaged because of politics?

the role of the govt: to provide for all.

why is it that, just a short bus ride ahead, i see bus stops that are like those orange old old kind from i dunno how long ago tht i thought didnt existed alr due to upgrading. and absence of covered linkways to mrt stns/adjacent blocks, absence of shopping centre, post office, bank ( save for afew atm machnies ) darkness when it reaches 7plus pm due to absence of light at public areas ( eg: walkway to mrt stn ). plus very dirty common areas under hdb flats. that area is so full of old folks mainly, in comparision to the nearby housing estate 1 bus ride away. i think the mrt stn is the nicest thing there.

fully airconditioned bus interchange, amenities, nice and clean hdb blocks. esp the nice and rain-blocking bus stops tht prevent ur legs frm getting too wet during heavy rain with lights so tht its not too dark at night. and blah blah.

maybe that's the diff between proposition and opposition.

preferential treatment.

all i can say is that, i dun think i'll wanna buy a house there.

the great disparity.

how saddening.

maybe all those interviews and apps are good. it made me used to being interviewed lol.

went for smu interview and it was interesting talking abt accounts and F1 cars all tgt :p

somehow i feel that work now has became alot more challenging nowadays. so many problematic cases. blah blah. jiayan juz joined rmg as temp staff at heart centre. makes me wanna migrate there too, if only for a change of environment.

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why do instinctive actions make me feel so out-of-control.

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shall update more often! abt my wkend outings (: