jubilee and cyclops had an interesting chat on the long bus ride home from jalan bukit merah. how easy and carefree jubilee talked. how simplistic the conversation. or was it? jubilee and cyclops did not meet prior to this, and barely spoken to each other during the whole selection process. in fact, jubilee was feeling tired, and slightly intimidated by the limited econs knowledge and the fact tht ppl ard her are arts/econs ppl.

as the conversation flows, similarities appeared. the change in mindsets, the beginnings, the interests. how easy it is to talk to a stranger, that each of them may not see in the future. no responsibility, no strings attached. both in need of company for this long bus ride. both willing to touch on common issues. nothing personal.

how seemingly detached. jubilee and cyclops. at the end of the day, that's all. cyclops. jubilee. imaginary figures in x-men. who is cyclops. who is jubilee. who are they really. just 2 individuals brought together by chance?

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and the 'xiao mei' appeared, day after day, living up to her 'xiao mei' nickname. doing work assigned to her, went through the motions. and left in the evening. how sweet. how young. dont scold her, she's only a student.

while xiao mei seems ever so distant from the stresses and pressures facing everyone else, takes mistakes and reproaching words without a blink of an eye.

who is xiao mei really? someone who looks ( and acts? ) younger than her age?

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who are these people, with different approaches, different actions, different words.

they seem different. but they are one and only...the same.

how much desire, to have a real conversation.

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the stark realisation that we are all leaving. yes leaving.

going into army, flying back to their homelands, working, studying abroad.

as in really really leaving.

i cant help reminising about the times where we were a loud and vocal class. and our outings. and i have bonded with quite afew of them

there's a time for everything. to meet and to part.

at least class bbq's fun! altho im still not full ( yes i am ok! ) hahas. but still, rather sad reality.

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prom's over too. the dressing up, the photo-taking, the staying over at raffles the plaza with band ppl.

time seems to fly past, and leave me tired, exhausted, and busy racing against time. whatever happened to enjoying life. every waking moment is work, and evenings and wkends past by so quickly. prom was fun. altho i did crash at work the nxt day. the photos. i will rmb these people. esp those who made it all worthwhile to stay in rj.

and work. the harsh reality of life. when things turn astray. when plans foiled. i was talking to her and she said, that she didnt want to study parttime and work full time if not for the fact that she didnt get into local uni and other options are too expensive ( like studying in aust. ) and the fact that mistakes cost dearly. eyes are watching. ears are hearing. and every minute is like an experiment. to see your live performance. every other person has their own grieviences. own problems.

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and i went there realising that sms(w) was really very...urgh well there's a major discovery that left me disgusted and biting that officers' heads off. i guess i was overexhibiting my irritation and level of piss-ness but reality is that...(this part is intentionally censored). poor air force officers tho, its not their fault they told me the correct facts and i was so incredibly pissed i bit their head off. sensitive topic. concerns govt. alot of things in spore cannot be said.

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perhaps, its all about me isnt it. too much idealism. too much dreams. of relationships, of the future, of people, of life. and after the rsaf seminar, i was staring at the many pilot wannabes and all i could think about were shattered dreams. of all these majority that will eventually not make the cut.

the talk was good ( altho too lengthy ) pictures great and beautiful, the kind that make you wanna go fly a plane this very instant, all the words that sang of the glory and pride for the vocation and for the nation. and pay's good.

and all i took home with me were tthe "major discoveries" that placed a black dot on the otherwise pristine white paper.

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amidst all the unpleasantness, there's always some people ard that never fails to brighten your day. somehow, strangely, maybe its all fate. altho i try not to believe in these things. but, some people do enter your life for various reasons, i believe. people who enter at low points of your life and to brighten it up. was taking a sneak peak at the book " for one more day " by mitch albom ( spelling unsure ) same author as "tuesdays with morrie" and felt really compelled, inspired in a certain sense.

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while ppl ard me are slacking ard for post-alevels, i was busy like hell.

a gradual transition to the next phase of our lives: the working phase. a large transition ( why do i feel this deja vu 2 yrs ago ). with the discovery of certain scanturies, comfort zones within this large unprotected territory. doing new things, meeting new people, i've nv felt anything much like it.

was is a mere week ago when i was at vivo city, wondering what work will be like. wondering what life has in store for me. and sitting beside you, i felt the encouragement. if you can, why cant i. was is not deja vu when i criticised happy feet for being stupid when in fact, it was so sad at certain points that i cant help tearing. and it turned out to be a nice movie.

how people we meet at unexpected points in our lives have the potential to shape our lives, to bring a silver lining to the cloud looming by. to make dull things seem appealing.

went for med checkup and trust me, many times i was wondering to myself. why was i here. why. and now i knew. it is to meet people like them. people that i happen to be able to clique with instantly, altho we just met. that went thru blood test with me and made all the drawing blood experience less unpleasant ( but not any less painful ). and people, that made me consider taking up the challenge, bcos i know, that we will bond.

and others, that, thru their silence, directed me to find that santuary within the hectic workplace. with music lightly floating across your ears, absence of senseless chatter, and a good view. a great place. to be. (?)

and others, can make the night shine with a multitude of dazzling colours.

i have a feeling that more challenges will come my way.

take it on baby.

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第一次见面看你不太顺眼
谁知道后来关系那么密切
我们一个像夏天一个像秋天
却总能把冬天变成了春天
你拖我离开一场爱的风雪
我背你逃出一次梦的断裂
遇见一个人后生命全改变
原来不是恋爱才有的情节
如果不是你我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱 把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我 只是骂我几句
如果不是你我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的弦外之音 我的有口无心
我离不开Darling更离不开你
你了解我所有得意的东西
才常泼我冷水怕我忘形你
知道我所有丢脸的事情却
为我的美好形象保密

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this is for you darlings (: